If the world could stop for a minute,
Everyone would definitely see,
That I just lost someone,
So very, very dear to me.
Though the sun is shining,
And a breeze is softly blowing,
Little things that once mattered,
Are no longer in my knowing.
My heart and soul are breaking,
NOTHING seems the same,
The noises around me fall silent,
I wish I knew who to blame.
I tried to prepare for this moment,
Never before have I felt so sad,
My insides ache and ache,
I cannot believe that I have lost my dad.
He meant EVERYTHING to me,
Was the apple of my eye,
How will I ever think of him again,
Without the need to cry.
They say that time will heal,
Surely they are wrong,
Everyone who tries to reassure me,
Sounds like a never-ending song.
My eyes are red and stinging,
My throat feels tight and dry,
My legs are weak and tingling,
I really could just curl up and die.
I slowly gather myself together,
I am going to win this fight,
After all, I owe it to him,
I will be his light.
(Written as a tribute to my colleague who has recently lost her father.)
As back-to-school season ensues, I cannot help but reflect on the adults who are heroes of sorts in their own rights when it comes to looking after children. Though not a parent myself, my job of more than two decades involves working with children and I have many a friend who are parents and/or teachers. Perhaps because I work so closely with little ones, I find myself observing them often in everyday life situations when I am out and about. I am continually fascinated by their personalities and I love watching them take in the world around them as they grow and learn and change as a result. But, let’s face it, raising kids is by and large, the most difficult, yet rewarding job there is or will ever be! Of course, I am not telling you anything new as most of you reading this know it to be true from first-hand experience, and if neither a parent or a teacher, chances are that you know of at least one or two who can enlighten you, if needed.
Nowadays, with all of the increasing challenges facing our future generations and the environment around them, it is important to acknowledge two of the most important stakeholders in their upbringing–both parents and teachers alike. And yes, both are key to shaping and molding productive, healthy, happy citizens who are self-sufficient and able to contribute positively not only to their community, but hopefully also on a more global level. Naturally, everyone has their own opinion and past experiences to draw on with respect to how it exactly that children should be raised and sometimes parents/parents and/or parents/teachers agree to disagree with each other on certain aspects or roles that each plays; however, regardless of race, culture, religion, gender, socioeconomic status, etc., I think we all ultimately want the same things for our youth, as stated above. The fact is that the journey of how to get our young ones to where we want them to be or where they need to be is ongoing and ever-changing, as we face and continue on our own journeys as adults.
There is no doubt and much evidence to support the notion that ages zero through five are the most crucial years in a child’s development intellectually, socially, emotionally and physically. These are the stages and ages that demand an enormous amount of time and attention on the part of parents and early childhood educators, where possible, and yet, it seems as though there is less and less of each to give as work schedules, finances and familial structures dictate otherwise. According to Statistics Canada, for example, dual-income earners has risen from 35.9% in 1976 to 69.1% in 2014 and Childtrend.org states that the percentage of two-parent families has decreased from 85% in 1960 to 65% in 2015. Take into account both of those compelling pieces of data and it becomes apparent just where and how our individual resources are being dispersed. At the heart of those numbers lie our children. Now, that’s not to say that children are doomed because of the increase in working parents and single family structures, it simply means that our time is becoming more divided than it once used to be. I know that I certainly see the stresses of ‘not having enough time’ in the families that I know of as well as in the children that I work with. Time appears to be our most sought-after commodity, the one to which dollar and cents is attached, but also the one desperately needed for our well-being and the well-being of our families. While I am not a psychologist and I don’t have a specific quote/stat to back me up (though I am sure that I could easily find one), I will go out on a limb and say that our daily schedules and ‘plugged in’ lifestyles eat up more of our personal time now more than ever, leaving less time for the nurturing and togetherness that our kids crave and need. I hear and I see it in my daily work enough to know that truth exists in my statement, the extent of which may not even be known fully, as professionals are just beginning to embark on studies dissecting the effects of our fast-paced, digital world.
Add in the schooling years, wherein family life becomes even further strained by clocks and bells and homework and clubs and sports and friends, and a person can get a little dizzy just thinking about the constant swirl of activities, albeit many of them good. Just the same, it all boils down to minutes spent on one thing versus another, leaving parents to determine the fine line and balance between the merits of doing and not doing. So, as we look toward another school year for many (some of whom have already begun the year) let’s remember that there needs to balance and appreciation toward everyone who plays a role in our children’s lives and that we should all be working to support each other, so that we can best support our kids. When stressors take over and blame is at the ready or things get to be too much, ask for help or take a breather; likewise, offer help or simple kindnesses when you see similar instances facing others. After all, we (the collective we) are really in it together, as either participants or bystanders or more likely both. Look for solutions, not problems and remember that a little bit goes a long way, be it a little bit of understanding, compassion and/or empathy. Whether it’s a parent not able to settle their baby on an airplane or a teacher doing their best to deal with bullying issues, be sure not to act or speak from a place of judgement, but rather from a place of love, which is really what every one of us needs more of, especially our children. Remember, too, that modelling is one of the most powerful things that we can do for our youth; whether or not they realize it (the older they are, the less likely that is), they are silently looking to us at every turn to help guide them to be the best possible person that they can be. While it is an honour and a privilege to be charged with such a life-changing role, as a parent and/or a teacher, it is sometimes an exhausting and daunting prospect. But, it sure does become a whole lot easier and a lot more rewarding when we acknowledge and show up for ourselves, each other and our loved ones:-).
“The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry.”
If you have ever watched Shawshank Redemption you’ll recognize this quote from the elderly character, Brooks, who after being incarcerated for decades, finally gets released back into society realizing just how different the world has become. Both my husband and I have watched this popular 1994 movie countless times, and each viewing leaves us with another seemingly newfound realization or chance to ponder life. Clearly, we are not the only ones who appreciate the savvy, narrative about a man (Andy, skillfully played by Tim Robbins) who is wrongfully imprisoned, learning perhaps more about himself on the inside than he did out and about in everyday life. In fact, a quick internet search to confirm the wording in my initial quote led me straight to the following link, wherein ten of the most inspirational quotes of the storyline reside proving that others feel the same as us with respect to the movie’s numerous life lessons to be garnered:
It’s worth checking out the link if nothing else, or better yet, take in the flick if you haven’t already.
While this post is not intended to serve as a movie review, I use Brooks Hatlen’s quote because it remains etched in my mind and I find myself reflecting on it regularly. For me, it’s definitely food for thought in how we go about our everyday life (at least here in North America, anyway). Old ‘Brooksey’ makes me question why we are in such a hurry ALL the time to do EVERY. little. THING. from running errands to commuting to work to even rushing around to go on holidays and then when on holidays, people are often still zipping around here, there and everywhere busying themselves with all kinds of ‘tasks’, be it visiting the next monument or taking selfie upon selfie to prove ‘they were there’ or ‘did that’. In my opinion, filling every minute and/or sparing none is not a healthy way to live and in many cases, I dare say it’s not necessarily a happy experience either based on what I have observed, anyway. Or, is it? Maybe you adamantly disagree and that’s okay too. I certainly am in no place to judge another person’s lot in life and while some may argue that we should live life to the fullest, that is not one in the same to me as I interpret that as more of a ‘when the opportunity arises, grab it’ kind of thing, but again, feel free to dispute that.
Simply put, I am not sure that our society, as a whole, is doing ourselves any favours by not stopping more to smell the roses and enjoy the fruits of our labour. The busy lives that we are living is a reflection of OUR own personal choices–the lives that WE have created–yet, is it the one that we really want or are we just keeping up with the Joneses, in a matter of speaking? How many people reach/have reached a certain point in their life where suddenly they think, ‘How exactly did I end up here doing what I am doing and more importantly, why am I doing it? Is it serving me/my family well?’. As we approach the middle of our lives and realize more fully that each and every day REALLY does matter because you just never know, I think these questions are worth contemplating.
I will say that whether or not you agree, none of us can dispute certain things that are happening in the world around us. Familial structures are suffering now more than ever, as is individual well-being not to mention all that we hear in the news (granted that the media has its own slant and always will) about the general welfare of all people/groups in today’s supposedly forward-thinking, 21st Century society. Leaving out the latter, most recent concerns with government, religion, etc. (too heated to get into) just think about the number of families with struggles, be it relationship-wise, financially speaking or otherwise. What about the vast number of addictions (drug, alcohol and others) taking hold of whole communities? Then, there are those who are affected with disease, be it physical or mental or both, i.e. cancer rates, Alzheimer’s, depression. How about the steady increase in incidences of crime and poverty and unemployment? Is our hustle/bustle 24-hour a day, 7 day-a-week, ALWAYS plugged-in lifestyle serving us in the best way possible? Is our basic human need to connect and share with each other as strong as it could/should be? I just don’t think so. While our ability to see into the future remains Grainy, I am hopeful. I’m hopeful because reflection can bring about change and change is a constant:-).
For us coffee lovers, the java bean can be a highly debatable topic. So, what’s all the bumble about? Well, some are dedicated to a certain type of roast and dare not stray from their ultimate brand/love, whereas others are experimental in their tastes and always willing to try the latest and greatest on the market, including brewing machines themselves. Then, there is the general umbrella of caffeinated or decaffeinated–the latter category of drinkers leaving the first to question, ‘Why even waste your money?’. Add in the topic of whole bean vs. already ground, the type of grind, etc. and a once simple subject suddenly gets very complicated and opinionated. Read More…