Ostriches and Homer Simpson


Image courtesy of Pinterest

Two unlikely subjects–an exotic bird and a TV character born out of the 1990’s.  So, what is that they have in common?  While I am sure that many of you could come up with a perspicacious response, the truth is that for each my husband and I they represent things that each of us in our own right vehemently dislike!

Care to guess which one it is that I cannot stand?  Since you have a 50/50 percent chance of being right, I’ll just come right out with it–The Simpsons and for that matter, any other show containing characters with bulging eyes, grating voices and ridiculously crude, useless humour.  Clearly, there will be a good many of you who strongly disagree with me, including my very own husband and the show’s decades of dedicated followers, but as far as I’m concerned Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie could have and should have met their fate in TV land a loooong time ago.  Any and all of the other cartoon programs that spawned after the popular Simpson series also make my list of non-favourites, i..e. Family Guy, American Dad, and South Park to name a few.  Especially if the characters sport those large, white eyeballs that I have come to despise so much.  Is it rational to feel hatred toward something based on superficial characteristics, such as one’s drawn eyes in this case?  Probably not, but I can’t seem to help it.

You’d almost wonder if something traumatic happened to me when I was younger that I don’t remember that has caused me to fathom the googly look that I speak of, but nothing comes to mind.  Maybe in utero or in one of my former lives, I was attacked by something of the sort?  Either way, count me out if the television is tuned into one of the channels featuring such a personality.  So much so, that my husband knows to watch ‘his’ shows when I am not around.  While marriage is all about compromise, this is one of those things, albeit trivial, that I simply cannot tolerate no matter how hard I try…and I have tried.  Honestly, I have.  I’ve even offered for my husband to watch ‘whatever he likes’, but the minute I hear one of those screeching vocals or catch a glimpse of  THE EYEBALLS, I cringe.  Something visceral happens in my body wherein my skin begins to crawl, my blood pressure rises, my throat tightens, and my fists clench and get sweaty.   Interestingly enough, I get a similar reaction if I hear the Mash theme song or see Spock’s pointy ears thanks to the inexplicably infamous, Star Trek.  Needless to say, I was never a fan of those longstanding series either, even though I am fully aware that they were widely known and revered back in the day and still are for many folks.  (Dont worry, I hear your loud, open-mouthed gasps at that statement, but to each their own, right?).

With respect to ostriches, the second half of my subject, I personally hold nothing against them since I’ve never really been up close and personal with one.  In fact, I don’t really know much about them other than what I’ve caught a glimpse of on various documentaries.  They appear to be very fast, rather large, fierce-looking birds with big beady eyes, now that I think of it–but at least their eyes are real and believable!  Now knowing that I am not the one with a personal vendetta against these feathered creatures, you might wonder why it is that my husband has such a clear disdain toward ostriches?

Similar to my ‘bug-eyed’ character aversion, he can’t really explain why he feels so strongly against the almighty bird.  He vaguely remembers spotting one at the zoo as a youngster, but no traumatic incidences happened that he recalls.  If the animal had spat or lunged at him, which it just might do, then it would seem reasonable that he would want nothing to do with them.  But no.  No such event or even dream occurred like that.  Yet, for whatever reason, the minute he sees one on TV, he automatically feels a need to “reach out and punch it”, as stated in his own words.  Now, if you knew my husband, you would know that this sentiment is far from the gentle personality that he is.  He has never hit a single thing in his life, minus the odd fly or mosquito, so it is strange that this innocent animal virtually compels him to want to act violently simply at the sight of it.  Of course, if he were to ever come across an ostrich in person, he is fully aware that he would likely wind up the loser in a face-to-face battle.  Rather than punch it, he would be best to run full speed away from the thing and frankly, so would I.  Those fowls can be pretty fowl, by the looks of it, and we would not a match make!!

What’s funny to me about all of this is that if you were to go around and survey people, I’m guessing that just about everyone can come up with at least one example, like ours, wherein they dislike something for no good, solid reason whatsoever.  Pet peeves are one thing, i.e. dishes left in the sink, long lines at the grocery store, four lanes wide of traffic, etc., but an out-and-out aversion at the simple sight or sound of one thing or another seems irrational, especially when there is no obvious explanation to back it up.  It makes me wonder what happens in our psyche to elicit such as strong, unfounded response.  In each of our cases, as explained, we literally have physical reactions, even impulses, that neither one of can seem to curtail.  For two otherwise kind and compassionate people (which some of my followers would be able to confirm…I hope! ), it is completely out of character for us to jump to such rash conclusions, yet EVERY single time we are faced with our hot-under-the-collar topics, we inherently behave the way we do.

That being said, are you willing to share what is it that riles you up out of the clear, blue sky?  Whatever it is, I’d be curious to know.  Meanwhile, in this household, you can be guaranteed that while you have been reading this, this husband and wife team have NOT, nor will we be watching any shows about ostriches or bugged-eyed, fictional characters anytime soon.



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