Unseen and Unspoken

Deep beneath the surface, painful, ever-present, and sometimes, even oozing.  These are the hurts of scars from the inside out.  The ones not seen, the ones not discussed, the ones people run from, the ones people hide purposefully, the ones whose effects are lingering, often life-changing.  Buried deep.

We’ve all been there.  We all have them.  Mostly they are rooted in family and relationships, though extenuating circumstances can contribute.  Sometimes, they are as simple as a word or a phrase, be it said in one moment of time or repeated over and over again.  Sometimes, they are another’s actions toward us or perhaps lack thereof, again either in one instance or maybe over a lifetime.  They could be the result of a loss of love or innnocence.  Or maybe both, or the pursuit of both.  Whatever the reason, whatever the circumstance, they are left with us.

The question is, “What does one do with them?”

You can run and hide, ignore, self-medicate, try to conquer to the point of obsession, but why?  Usually the pain of doing the afore-mentioned is worse than the hurts behind the scars themselves.  YOU know they are not going to go away no matter which of the above you resort to.  So, why not ‘feel the fear and do it’ anyway, as they say?  From personal experience in doing all of the above–some all at once, one strategy spread over years and years, and a combination of both–it’s really all the same and you know what?  NONE of it works.  N-O-N-E.  You know it and I know it, even if we try to fool ourselves or tell ourselves the same old story or invent a new one, so that we almost come to believe it.  ALMOST.  The truth is that the story is just a cover and most often others around us know it.  We know it. But no one speaks of it.  And, the cycle perpetuates or a new defunct coping mechanism is bourne out of desperation.

Today, I challenge you to break free from the cycle.  Never mind what you did or didn’t do yesterday, or what you could do tomorrow.  It has to be today.  YOU have the POWER.  YOU have the CHOICE.  YOU can make a CHANGE.  Quit blaming others, quit making excuses, quit being the victim, quit telling the stories, and most of all, quit being quiet.  Quiet is what hurts.  Quiet is what keeps us there.  Quiet is what seeks desperate measures.  Quiet is what leaves us feeling alone and lonely.  Quiet does not fill our innate human needs.

Instead, strive to be heard, strive to listen, strive to be understood, strive to understand, strive to be bettered, strive to be better.  Take a step.  Make a call.  Write a letter.  Sing a song.  JUST DO SOMETHING.  ANYTHING.  Even if you don’t know what that is yet.  You will find it, it will find you.  Keep searching, keep looking, keep doing while acknowledging that they, the scars, are a part of you and they always will be, and even with them, you are here.  DECIDE how you are going to take them forward.

Will you let them ooze, will you let them hurt, or will you let them fade of your own volition?   Rather than you serving them, maybe they will serve you, as a reminder of the strength you have, the struggles you have overcome, the fact that you are in control and, most of all, that you are worthy.  You are worthy simply because you are here.  Now.  To live and enjoy life.  To make the most out of your short time.  To find your passion.  To treasure the journey.  To be present.  Present…with the scars that got you here.  You earned it, you are deserving, you are.



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