Picture this. Canada, 2021. (Any Golden Girls’ fans out there?). A middle-age, blonde-haired lady living rurally in amongst modern technological times. Despite the many advancements around her, everyday household items purported to make life easier seem NOT to work as they should. Let me share some of her examples since she’s sure there are other people out there with similar idiosyncratic items who can relate to her plight.
Now, our young’ish mid-lifer does enjoy a good cup of java each morning as her workday begins. During the week, she drinks the cheap stuff, saving the weekends for her Kona coffee indulgences. To brew up her weekly cost-efficient beans, she uses Keurig’s latest slim design model which fits perfectly atop her little fridge. The problem is that even though it looks the part, its functionality is the pits. After inserting the water and pod, she presses the power button all the while knowing that the grey button is deciding her fate for the day. If she is desperate enough to require a cup of coffee, it might relent or… it might not. In fact, it kind of operates much like a cat. If it wants attention, it will come to you on its own terms; if not, forget it—you’ve no hope of petting it. Her Keurig is the same in that depressing the large, circular button doesn’t mean that the doomed brewer will actually work. Only if it feels like heating up, will it. What she ever did to deserve such biased treatment from a mere coffeemaker, she’s still not sure. Has she thought about trashing it? Yes, but that would be a waste of money, so she sticks with it, being as stubborn as her contender. Indeed, it’s a daily battle of her against machine. You never know who will win. 💪
Our blonde girl invested in a simple food scale a few years back. It is a handy little gadget that she uses more often than she first thought she would. So, what’s the problem? Well, it doesn’t really like to turn on much like her Keurig. She speaks nicely to it for the most part, but more often than not, it refuses to fire up its digital screen. The instruction booklet (which she did refer to, by the way) said to tap the button twice consecutively to get its display to light up. She claims she does exactly that, yet nothing appears for the first few tries without fail. It kind of reminds her of playing that hand game wherein you and a partner place both of your hands side-by-side, one person’s on top of the other’s, then one tries to slap their opponent’s hands by quickly pulling out from underneath them. Much like the hand game, one could conclude that our country bumpkin moves either too quickly or too slowly with the on/off button. Perhaps she under or over estimates the tapping speed that she needs to employ and should aim to be more precise. Years of practice makes perfect… maybe?! 🤷♀️
Our friendly Canadian has a tendency to use a lot of dishes, especially when she bakes. Her husband often questions how it is that she manages to use as many kitchen utensils as she does. Nevertheless, if he’s at home, he’ll gladly oblige in washing up a few in the sink as the pile grows. The majority of their everyday plates, cups and cutlery end up in the dishwasher, however. It’s a real time saver compared to hand washing. Both blonde lady and helpful hubby are grateful for their washer which runs every second day or so. As has been the common theme thus far, there does appear to be an issue with getting the stainless steel appliance started. In reality, one is supposed to be able to select which cycle they would like to wash with, then press start. Umm… start doesn’t want to start though. Through trial and error, this resolve has a rub your belly, pat your head type of fix. When it’s time to get the dishwasher going, our rural-dwelling blogger must select the cycle, open the door and shut it again. Then, voila! Magic. Water begins filling the tub and she lets out a loud sigh of relief. One of these days, she knows full well that that particular sequence of actions will no longer do the trick. Will there be another belly rubbing, head patting fix or will it be time for a repairman? Only time will tell. 🧐
This year specifically, our lady friend has had to work from home due to COVID-19 isolations and lock-downs much like many other individuals. Occasionally, she has had to copy important papers, scan something or print out worksheets. Thankfully, her husband had previously purchased a laser-jet, 3-in-1 printer which she has had the privilege of using. Except that, the friendly neighbourhood Brother MFC ‘chooses’ when it wants to actually do its job similar to many other things on this list. Good thing the printer doesn’t get paid based on its performance because it would be in the red without a doubt. Unfortunately, it usually ends up being our forties something woman who is in the red because of its haphazard behaviour. Ah, I bet many of you out there are thinking, ‘Has she tried hitting the power switch when it acts up like that?”. Indeed, she utilizes it often, and like the all-in-one unit itself, sometimes flicking it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Sigh. Some days, it feels like she is living the Groundhog Day movie, over and over and over. 🤪
Can openers are one of those kitchen gadgets that our gal from up North cannot go without obviously. Chances are that most of you out there own one or two of them as well. There are electric ones and there are the handheld ones; both types seem to have their fair share of issues as she has since discovered. The best one for cutting consistently is a Starfrit one which she purchased specifically to open up her dog’s cans of food back when. While it’s great for opening up tins, it also happens to be great at opening up fingers as it leaves behind a terribly sharp edge which our middle-age character cut herself on badly one time. Needless to say, that was the last time it has ever been used. Enter a new electric, Black and Decker appliance intended for daily use. One might think that Black and Decker ought to do the trick and that’s what she thought too. Getting the can lined up perfectly under the cylindrical cutting tool appears to be one thing, then there is the issue of the little tool falling out of its base—repeatedly. Putting it back in again remains an art form in and of itself, but our tenacious girl perseveres since getting into cans and such is kind of a necessity. Chalk it up to another contraption that requires TLC in order to inspire it to live up to its namesake. 🙄
Finally, our Golden Girls fan doesn’t mind doing laundry on her weekends. It’s one of those chores that kind of takes care of itself once it’s sorted and ready for washing. Some of her delicate clothing requires a gentle agitation, then a simple line dry. Easy peasy! She has a handy, dandy moveable rack in her mudroom which accommodates hangers aplenty. It may be a bit more time-consuming to drape each piece of clothing up, but it sure does increase the longevity of each item. You must be thinking, Yay! for the blonde lady—something that actually functions as it should for her. She was thinking the same until she realized that when doing regular loads that need to be tumble dried, the over-sized dryer doesn’t EXACTLY like its dial turned. That’s right, folks. She cannot use any of the pre-set, specialty drying cycles. Instead, she must self select the time, heating temperature, tumble speed, etc. each and every time. A mere inconvenience perhaps, but just the same—it is another temperamental household appliance owned by our fellow Canadian who wonders how it is that in this advanced day and age, the basic operation of everyday implements isn’t so basic? Or, picture this: Could it possibly be a ploy by multi-million/billion dollar companies who purposefully manufacture ill-fated items to increase consumerism when their products repeatedly fail the test of time forcing buyers to either settle for half-assed products as mentioned or purchase new ones? 😉
Do any of these same, everyday annoyances plague you the same way they seem to affect our blonde blogger? Any belly rub, head pat combos at your house that could use Inspector Gadget’s dim-witted touch since logic and durability appear to evade in these kinds of situations?