Sometimes You Can Love Hard Enough

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Photo by Jasmine Carter on

Have you ever had one of those days that just keeps getting better by the minute?  The other day, I was fortunate enough to experience that and I am still bathing in the afterglow from it all.  I really truly am.

My day began the way it usually does–physiotherapy, breakfast/blogging, my driveway walk, dishes of some sort or another–nothing extraordinary.  Of course, my daily blogging indulgence and you fine folks on WP are always extraordinary, but I’m talking about something different here. 😉  After my morning routine, I had a virtual meeting with a couple of longtime friends.  This was the first joyful event which I believe kicked off the other gratuitous moments of my day that followed. The meeting with my girlfriends was long overdue since the three of us haven’t ‘gotten together’ since COVID-19 hit the scene.  It was nice to re-connect again and have our usual friendly banter and laughs.  It felt ‘normal’, just like old times.  During our Meet, I had to leave the call to take a call on my cell phone.  It turned out to be the Gastroenterology Department–grateful moment number two.  I got in on a cancellation some four months after my doctor’s request, which means that this coming Monday, I will be able to get some much needed testing done sooner than first anticipated.  I thought for sure it would be the fall at minimum before I would hear from them since non-emergency procedures became significantly more delayed due to the pandemic.  I’m lucky to have received the call and even luckier that my husband can take the time off to accompany me to my appointment.

The third, happy, but unplanned fortuity came after lunch.  My husband informed me that a parcel that he was expecting had arrived at our local post office, so he wondered if I could pop into town and grab it quickly.  Sure enough, there was a box waiting to be picked up.  Given that he had ordered his item only a couple of days beforehand, it was most fortunate to have it arrive in such a timely fashion since it was something that he had run out of.  As you and I well know, postal deliveries these days are often running days, weeks, even months behind as is the case with my Hawaiian coffee, which appears to be stuck in customs, but that’s a whole other story not suited to this otherwise cheerful post.  Now, you might be wondering if my husband’s parcel delivery is the end of happy event number three, but alas, you are wrong.  Or maybe, it is and you could consider the next happening my fourth merry occurrence of the day.  Yah, let’s do it that way.

After picking up my husband’s mail, I contemplated stopping and picking up some ice cream for us for dessert later that night, which is something that I rarely do given that I am lactose intolerant.  But, it was a gorgeous, sunny day (another win in and of itself–so maybe the weather alone ought to account for number five on my list?) and I knew that my husband had some yardwork to do after getting home, so I thought that it would be a nice surprise for him after supper.  Decision made.  I made my way into the gradually building line of drive-thru vehicles, as it neared quitting time for many local folks doing the 7-3 shift, I’m guessing. The line was slow-moving, but no one seemed impatient as one might normally expect.  Instead, we all appeared to be enjoying the welcome rays of the sun on our faces whilst awaiting our turns.  As I got closer to the window, I began digging around in my purse when I realized that I had still had some gift certificates from last year to use up.  Yay!  Consider that ‘Happy’stance #6.  

Locked, loaded and ready to pay for our favourite frozen treats, I observed the fellow in his one ton diesel behind me.  I first off marvelled at how he had maneuvered his huge truck into the narrow drive-thru space.  For anyone like me who also drives a truck, you know how difficult it can be to park, let alone navigate tight spaces.  Then, I noticed that he was a younger fellow of a husky stature who looked as if he had just come from a hard day’s work outside.  The interesting thing is that he politely turned off his otherwise loud, rumbly truck in between our line-up shuffles forward, which was much appreciated.  Neato, I thought since many young guys are happy, or even pay extra to have their prized mufflers run rough for all to hear.  As it turned out, all of those things were reason enough for me to let the lady at the till know that I wanted to pay for the young man’s order (Event #7)–well, provided that he wasn’t ordering up something that I couldn’t afford.  Luckily, it wasn’t anything extravagant and so when she told me his total, I nodded in approval.  She seemed shocked, but thrilled and fumbled around for a few minutes anxiously trying to get my card to scan.  After having to enter both of our orders manually, I told her to wish the guy behind me a happy rest of his day to which she inquired about my name.  I answered, she smiled and said thank you.  Onward, I went.

A couple of short minutes later, the young fellow in the diesel pulled up beside me at the intersection at which time it was clear that he had had his girlfriend or wife with him.  I hadn’t seen her in my mirror in the line-up, but I gave her a thumbs-up as she leaned forward and smiled over my way.  It felt good to treat them, but when I relayed the story to my husband later that night, I hoped that my gesture of kindness which only had the purest of intentions didn’t cause any issues when the drive-thru cashier told him that, “Sue said to have a nice day!”.  Of course, that poor fella would have had absolutely NO idea who I was, but it could have been a pause or a concern for his wife/girlfriend as she might have wondered just who exactly “Sue” was.  Given that his significant other smiled at me at the lights however, I’m hoping that their free ice creams would have cooled off any potentially heated talks, if you know what I mean. 😉

Fast forward to an hour or so later, which brings me to the eighth and most dear part of my extraordinary day.  As I sat here getting the next day’s word ready to publish on WP, my husband who had come straight home, changed and got to work spraying our festival of weeds, knocked on the window.  Looking up, I could see that my nephew who lives around the corner from us, was sitting on his dirt bike on our driveway.  For most of you, separate from as of late with the coronavirus, seeing your niece or nephew who lives so closeby might not really be considered an event or a special circumstance, but for me, it was!  It was monumental actually.  You see, it has been eight years (and my 8th event of the day… hmmm?!  coincidence?) since he has come over to visit.  Of course, he was only seven back then, so he couldn’t have really come over on his own so to speak, but you get the point and that’s just it… he is old enough now that he can come and see me if he wants to, and clearly he wanted to, which leaves me feeling over the moon like you just cannot imagine.  You just can’t, or maybe you can.

You see, it’s been a long, hard, separate road for him and I, but despite our familial issues, he and I have always had a special bond.  At least I had *hoped* that he had felt what I had felt from the first time that I held him in my arms and we looked into each other’s eyes over fifteen years ago now.  I had also hoped that he would know how much I have loved him still even though we have been forced to be apart of all of these years.  In fact, I have loved him SO much that I reluctantly decided that it was best to ‘let him go’, so that he would not get caught in the middle of adult business that was unnecessary, cruel and ruthless and had no business in the life of a seven year-old.  Unsure of what he has been told or nuances that kids are so brilliant at picking up on, I worried that he might not realize that I had no choice but to take a backseat to his life throughout all of this precious, precious time.  And while I still get bloodred angry at his father and the thought of having missed out on so many of his growing up years and time that could have been spent together, I learned an extremely valuable lesson and it appears that maybe my young nephew has as well:

People, time and circumstances can force people apart, but NO ONE or NOTHING can change what’s truly in your heart and how you feel.  Ever!  No matter how hard someone else tries, they CANNOT erase memories of happier times past from others’ minds, they CANNOT erase soul to soul connections, and they surely CANNOT dictate how hard that you can love someone from afar, so that they find their way back to you.  Back to what is real and raw and right.

With fingers crossed and a renewed sense of hope in my heart, I can only pray that my nephew’s long anticipated visit is the first of many more to come.  God-willing.

Not that there is hardly room for a number nine on my list of how this miraculous day shaped up to be, but there was one more important thing that happened:  my husband and I got to enjoy our Skor blizzards purchased in the narrow drive-thru lane earlier that day.  And… over ice cream and rocking chair talk, I got to revel in my nephew’s visit and the moment in time in which he made his way back to me after all of these years spent apart.  With my heart aglow, my frozen treat tasted even sweeter than ever before!  I wonder if my nephew also likes Skor Blizzards?!  I sure hope to find out… soon.  🙂


3 thoughts on “Sometimes You Can Love Hard Enough

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