It’s been almost a year since… well, you know. I can’t do it anymore. I tried. Every thing in this house reminds me of them, including you. You have their eyes, their beautiful brown sparkly eyes. Every single time I look at you, I see them and I relive that horrible, God-awful moment in which I learned that they were gone. Gone from our family forever. They, our vibrant baby girls, who are never EVER coming back. Do you know that I even considered joining them at one point? Maybe you did too? I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. So many times I thought about it, but I am still here. Instead, I am writing this letter to you and by the time you read it, I will have gone. I will have left behind you, our little white house and all of the memories inside its four aging walls, along with my pink apron and… that pair of rocking horses. Oh, how they loved them so!
Our life together has been empty for months now and I have finally accepted that love alone is not enough to bridge our loss. I do love you. Very much, Joe. But we are both just going through the motions and we’ve each known that for sometime. If I stayed, where would we be in a few months, another year, five years, twenty years?! We are each dying a slow death and our family has suffered enough. It’s time to move on, if that’s even possible. While I hardly comprehend what I am writing, it is something that I have to do. I have to try. Rosie and Lilly would want us to try and so I am doing this for them. I am doing it for us.
I want you to know that you are a wonderful husband, you were an amazing father to our twin babies and you are the love of my life and always will be. But I am setting you free. It is time for us to begin anew. Please forgive me.
Should we cross paths again in our separate lives, I will look at you fondly and my heart will smile. My Joe. My Rosie. My Lilly. Those familiar eyes.
With much love and affection,
Your only Maria
Short Story Series Parts 1-3 found here:
8 thoughts on ““My Dearest Husband Joe…””
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