Have you ever noticed how some people stay caught up in Controversy all the time? It seems to be what dictates their life and their actions. Everytime you meet up with them or speak with them, there is some new drama, some new situation ‘brewing’. I mean, all you have to do is turn on the news right at the moment to know that to be true. (Don’t worry, I am not going to go political here–I wouldn’t even begin to touch that one for your sake or my own;-).
What I have learned, however, is that being constantly bathed in a battle of sorts allows a person to escape their own reality. You know what I mean? Let’s face it, if you are always caught up in a situation that ‘life has dealt you’ (usually the interpretation that goes with such an individual), then you get to stay in that cycle versus facing any of your own internal struggles. I know of a few people who seem to rely, almost thrive, on this state of being. I would even go out on a limb, maybe even to the point of sounding controversial, to say that a good portion of society’s addictions lead back to this cycle of creating outside issues to avoid the heart of what’s really going on inwardly. Though I understand that in some ways it seems ‘easier’ to go through life that way and have, at times, resorted to ignoring issues myself, be it consciously or subconsciously, the trouble is that the beast in all of it remains and that is whatever it is that you are supposedly running and hiding from. Unless it is dealt with face-on, it will continue to resurface over and over in all kinds of ways. Perhaps some of us NEED multiple instances of lessons being presented to us to learn from them what we need to in order to proceed onward; however doing so to the point of no return becomes fruitless.
Some say, “How come it’s always me that these things happen to? How come I never get a break in life?”. Well, I dare say that that is likely because they are always searching for ‘it’ (often unknowingly) and if that’s the energy that they are putting out there, then that’s exactly what they will get back in return. So, if you find yourself on a merry-go-round, as I have and likely still will since we all have pasts which follow us, rather than blaming outside sources or circumstances, try looking within. I mean really try. Don’t just fake try, and yes, there is such a thing. The truth is that we usually don’t like what we see when we glance inward and as a result, it scares or overwhelms us to think of what we might have to do, or more likely feel, to overcome it. With that comes the plethora of ‘What if’s?’ and self-doubt which further inhibit us from making any sort of progress, so that we can actually address the things that we need to to move on. And so, back we go again to focusing on everything BUT what we should be. A most unproductive approach needless to say, but also a ‘safe’ one in that it allows us to continue to ignore the real problems that lie within–God forbid that we are not perfect, right?!
While I wish I had the clear-cut answers as to how to move past it all, I don’t. All I know is that if you find yourself ALWAYS facing trauma or drama, or know of someone who is, it’s time for you or for them to put down the boxing gloves and pick up a mirror. What’s happening around a person is a reflection of what’s going on inside of them–like it or not. Just think about how our basic health works. Generally speaking, our overall state of well-being is a result of what’s going on within our bodies, give or take extenuating factors. Thus, if you or a loved one is operating in what seems like a continual state of chaos, then the question to ask is, ‘What is really behind it such that it keeps coming back and/or happening TO me? Or, is it ME that happens to IT?’. Past hurts and/or unresolved feelings of some sort would be my most educated guess, given my training and past experiences. The thing is that we must move through it, in order to get past it. There is just no other way, no matter how hard we try to move around it.
“Live a life of acceptance rather than one of denial; otherwise, the only one who really hurts is you and in the process, you deny yourself the opportunity to be the best you that you can be which is the only you that truly exists.” ~Sue