House of Jiggles

Oh my!  I’m not sure what your reality is, but my husband and I seem to be surrounded by things that need a little ‘Jiggle or wiggle’ in order to work properly.  From a psychological standpoint, I guess I could explain it in that these things must, in some way, be a reflection of each of us who just happen to have a tendency to be a bit stubborn if pushed.  So, I suppose that we shouldn’t be surprised by the fact that our world consists of obstinate objects which require some ‘sweet talking’ in return.  Let me give you some for instances and see if any of them resonate with you as well.  If so, it’s okay…I promise that I’ll keep the psych analysis out of it;-).

  1.  My Portable DVD Player-now, to be fair this little gem of mine is at least a decade or more old, but since I am frugal (okay, so I am a bit cheap–“My father’s daughter”, as my mom would say), I insist on using it until its dying days are done.  While preserving its ‘workability’, I have to get the headphones into the jack just so (a good 5 or 10 tries) or else I don’t get any audible sound, which is a tad bit annoying since I use it to keep myself entertained during my morning treadmill sessions.  The thing is that even when I manage to snag the magic twist of the plug and get it working, it often comes loose at the swinging motion elicited by my walking leaving me to do some very fancy foot and handiwork since there’s nothing worse than having to stop in the middle of a workout.  But, of course, I only have myself to blame as I will not dole out cash for a new one.  Instead, I complain about it as I am doing right now.  Go figure!  (Remember, I did admit to being stubborn.)
  2. Our Bedroom Satellite Box-well now, this silver box of joy definitely has a mind of its own.  Yes, it’s one of those, “Can you rub your tummy and stand on one foot while pressing the power button?” kind of things.  Honestly, I swear that’s what it takes!  And yes, we have tried many a new battery for the remote, but no cigarello.  Once again, we really should just replace it, but we cannot seem to part with the $150 to do so, when we have a “perfectly good?!” receiver:-).  Surely, you, too, have something like this….
  3. The House Key-What is it with these ‘carefully’ crafted pieces of metal?  Are they so carefully crafted that even they don’t know the secret to their very own being much like the Caramilk bar?  Most house keys that I have owned over the years require more than just a wiggle or jiggle to work, so much so that I have often wished that the saying, “Open Sesame” would do the trick.  Naturally, safety in such a situation could be a problem, since keys are meant to serve a purpose.  Add to that the climate that we live in which varies from hour-to-hour let alone season-to-season, and then a person like me finds themselves performing comemorable feats of strength.  I mean surely I am not the only one who has had to throw her whole body weight against the door in the hopes that the frame or latch of the door will actually shift everything into alignment enough for the *key* to work.  Rarely have I been able to simply slide the carved metal wonder into a lock and expect that it shall open.  Rarely.
  4. The Phone Jack-Oh dear, this one is a hot mess!  There is just no other way to describe it.  It goes something like this,  “In partway, then jiggle, in a little further again, then push upward, in a little more….”.  Before you know it, the whole scene begins to play out in an almost R-rated fashion, which may lead you to think, ‘Hey, now we are talking…what’s wrong with that?“, but the trouble is that it lacks the usual excitement that goes with.  It’s quite the opposite actually in that I often find myself searching for a certain set of choice words which, well, I am too lady-like to share on here, though I am sure that you get the point.  That being said (or not said in this case), I best leave it at that.

The good news is that both my husband and I are used to dealing with all of these half-assed items in our lives.  Even when it comes to making a new purchase, we pretty much assume that it, whatever ‘it’ is, will have at least one quirk or two.  The truth is that it wouldn’t seem quite right otherwise.  It’s almost as if certain packages/boxes have been strategically placed on store shelves just waiting for us to pick them, and we definitely have a knack for picking!  After all, we managed to choose each other, didn’t we?!   I think some might call it destiny:-).


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