The Stubborn Side of Me
I hear or see the word Forbidden and I cringe. To me, it has a negative connotation, and I prefer to think of things on a more positive note–not unlike many of you, I’m sure. And, also similar to the rest of mankind, the minute that I am told that something is plain out of my reach, it makes me all the more interested in it. A lot like a small child, really, who is warned time and time again not to do, say or touch something; thereby inviting them to not only try it once, but often again and again despite the warning or raised voice. It is clearly in our nature to want to try that which is otherwise deemed unattainable and of course, there are many biblical references about that very notion. However, that is not where I am going with this.
On a societal level, we clearly have rules/laws which forbid us to do certain things, and depending on where we live, these are usually enforced to keep us safe and/or to keep things ‘fair’ (whatever that may be), though some would certainly argue as to whether or not the latter is true. And, of course, we all know that in some places around the world, things are imposed on others which have nothing to do with safety or equality, rather the ‘forbidden’ is more about gaining control and/or exerting power over others. In some of my travels, I have actually visited countries whose political systems are a lot like the one I just mentioned, and then comes my traveller’s quandary of why am I here supporting this kind of thinking. Yet, at the same time, ‘my being there’ is providing a means of income for people who might otherwise not have a chance to make money and support their families. Hmmm…pause for thought. Sometimes, I am not sure that I’ve made the right decision, though my intention would never be to hurt anyone or anything (I mean, we’re talking about a girl who is a self-proclaimed crier at Kleenex ads). It is nice to dream of changing how things all work in this big ol’ world some day, but it is a very complicated one in which we live. Unfortunately, I don’t think this one simple post will be its saviour. But, it is a thought worth putting out there just the same, right?! You know, one voice can make a difference, one step in the right direction.
From a personal standpoint, I don’t really believe in that which is forbidden. Maybe it’s just the stubborn side of me speaking or maybe it is actually that I am wiser. I’d like to think it’s the second of the two, though I will admit that I can be stubborn (‘See Mom, I admitted it…‘). I mean, obviously there are specific things that I will NOT do based on my own morality and/or fears, but when it comes to day-to-day living, I prefer not to think of any one thing as being prohibited. When I was, oh say, 20+ years younger or so, I self-imposed a lot of restrictions (i.e. diet, thoughts, love, etc.) simply because I lived my life then largely based on what others thought or would think of me, or what would please them. As a result, I had many silly little rules and walls that I lived behind. But, at the time, I was just a wee youngster and I didn’t know any better. I was doing the best that I could with what I knew, just the same as anyone else, which is all that you can ever really ask or hope for in someone, right? I am learning to forgive myself for those ridiculous notions and clearly, I have moved on as I look at my life now, which is so very different. As a forty-something year old, if I want dessert, I am having it and not just some, the whole darn thing! If my opinion differs from yours, you’ll hear it in a polite way. If I am being mistreated, I will speak out. If I think something could be done better or be changed for the positive, I will advocate for it. If I love something or someone, I try to make sure that I let it be known (this one is a work in progress, as it requires me being somewhat vulnerable–but, I am learning). The other day, I came across this picture and quote from a fellow WordPress user’s post, and I saved it because I thought that it was quite poignant given the stage of life which I am at now, and some of the realizations that I have just discussed. Maybe some of you can also relate, which is why I’d like to share it with you.
I will clarify that I don’t view the final sentence at aged 60 as being a negative thing, as some might interpret it. I think it simply means that you should just go ahead and do what you want because everyone else is thinking more about themselves than you. It’s just who we are by nature, self-absorbed by our own thoughts, which doesn’t mean that we are selfish either. Just human. With the ability to be compassionate.
I think I will end this post here. As I close off, I will unwrap and enjoy a couple of Hershey Kiss treats just because I want to, even though it is only 8AM here on the Big Island of Hawaii. Dessert for breakfast? Why not?! I say it’s not forbidden:-).