“Two Socks, One Sock…None” kind of sounds a bit like a kids’ song, doesn’t it? Well, it isn’t one that I know of, but if I decide to write some actual lyrics, I’ll let you know. Meanwhile, I actually have some everyday musings over the subject of…yes, socks, believe it or not. But, maybe by now, you’ve read some of my other posts and have concluded that this might not be that out of the park for me to discuss.
The other day, I dug into my infamous sock drawer to find my favourite pair of black, silky dress socks to wear to work. Upon slipping them on, left one first, then the right (same way for you, perhaps?), a routine of sock putting-on that I have adopted since forever, I discovered the dreaded hole on the well-worn heel. ‘Darnit!’ My revered pair now at risk. Of course, just to be sure, I continue rolling them up my leg anyway just to see if somehow the hole might magically disappear upon stretching it out?! ‘Nope! Still there.’ And, to boot, the other heel is nearly see-through, but no hole yet. ‘Hmmmm….what to do?’ The hole will drive me nuts with shoes on for the day, but the other sock might be salvageable, right?! I mean, I could wear the non-holey one with a mismatched sock. The problem is that then I might feel out of equilibrium for the day. Know what I mean? Kind of lop-sided like…at the very least, a sense of unevenness. ‘No. Can’t do that’. After concluding that I will have to settle on another pair of socks for the day, I hesitate to throw the others out. Maybe, if I put them back in the drawer, they will miraculously patch themselves for the next time?! ‘Nah, not possible and I know it’. Struggling (over a pair of socks, which is ridiculous, I know), I finally decide to toss them in my see-through garbage can. At least, I can look at them for a little while longer until they hit the big, black garbage bag. And, so there you have it…two socks turned into none.
But, that’s not the only trouble I seem to have with socks. There is still the whole dryer issue. You know what I am getting at here, don’t you? I have no idea how it happens because most washings seem to go smoothly with my socks and underwear. The odd time, I might have to rescue one sock that is clung to the basin itself, but usually, it’s a non-issue. The dryer, however, is a whole different story! I swear to God that something lives in each dryer drum out there. Something or someone that likes to eat socks, possibly?! But not both socks. No way. Only one of the two, as it turns out. Yes indeed, it must go down that way because most times that I dig in there to get my stuff, at least one pair is missing its match when I go to put my laundry away. I take some comfort in knowing that I am not the only one with this problem, though, as just the other day my husband had the exact same issue. To be sure that he wasn’t somehow mistaken, he even checked his laundry basket and the washing machine in the hopes that he would find ‘the missing one’. But, no such luck. The one sock is gone…vanished! Right before our very eyes. And, so you have it, the story of two socks becoming one.
To add to the whole two-socks-into-one drama, there was one day, in our early dating days, wherein my husband literally found himself wandering around the house with only one sock on. He had had two socks on throughout his lengthy working day, but somehow, upon returning home, one managed to disappear. How, when, or why he didn’t know? He just suddenly realized, while going down a set of stairs as we were talking on the phone, that he was only sporting one sock. I’m not sure whether or not he ever found the other one because we were too busy laughing at this seemingly hilarious situation. At least, we found it funny that he must have been ‘sockless’ for over a couple of hours before realizing that he was off-kilter, so to speak. A very long 12-hour shift, no doubt! And, so, it became that I stitched together a Christmas stocking for him that winter with a nameplate of, “One Sock Gompers”. Gompers, thanks to good ol’ auto word correct on the I-Phone. (Can’t remember which word was auto-replaced, but needless to say, the word stuck with us.)
So, what’s left to discuss about socks? Nothing. Just the beauty of not having to wear them at all, actually. Hence, the “Two Socks….None”. After all, we are presently embarking upon the season wherein socks lie to rest, and flip-flops & sandals make their all-too-welcoming debut!!! Indeed, Spring has sprung and our toes are all eagerly awaiting their much-needed airing out. FINALLY! Whether or not others wish to see our toes may be a whole other blog, but for now, I will bid my socks a farewell for the next few months (hopefully…though, we do live in Canada), as I embrace my barefeet walk-abouts. And, who knows? Maybe by the time I’m ready to dig back into my beloved sock drawer again, my favourite pair of socks will somehow reappear, all fixed up and ready to roll, and unroll, (a little play on words here) for another fall/winter.